entoptic cycloptics

The shades regained spirit and flopping gently in the breeze and on the tails of Amkreutz's worn out trench coat followed him into the fray...down south. Frantically putting more mileage on his genuine but caked General Von Raschheimer boots, Amkreutz quickly decimated the distance between their starting point and soon to be destination. His right eye finally having popped out as well established some last corrections on their computed course.
Finally the shades felt useful again after having spent so many years in oblivion. They were definitely pulling a Vashti Bunyan here and aimed for succes. After several days Amkreutz lifted the left tip of his moustache, which now also harboured an interesting array of insects, stared of into the western sunset and mumbled.... we're close...
The shades full of joy and anticipation quickly gathered wood for the fire and in a joint effort pulled at the Von Raschheimers. The night was spent rejoicing, singing, clapping hands and saying yeah! Some of the shades even made use of a tree!
In the morning they broke camp and poured the last of the coffee over the fire. Around noon things were really drawing to a close...
Would they find the images...would Amkreutz be able to lead them down the abysmal depths of what they faced...why weren't they looking at a stable...and most of all why WEREN't they looking at a stable?

Turn up the Scoville!

Recalling Brian, who had written his 'Teratology of Apis nonmellifera melancholia' at the age of six, who had been so disappointed in the shades for not accomplishing anything, his diabolical construction of the day-job, the sometime nemesis of Amkreutz, at others bosom comrade, Brian, whose very movement meant danger, had the shades rightly gloomily revering the afternoon sun.

Once the temperature had gone up several Scoville, Amkreutz, his mustasche waxing brightly to the rays of the sun (cf. above), came out of his hibernation. His cheery 'Vaht Up chap-ss?' gave the shades start, which was very unlike them, as I remember thinking at the time. Hurridly, the shades explained all, Amkreutz sometimes attentive, othertimes pulling faces, sympathetic and rebuking at once, the jocular hilarity never leaving his left eye, the right having not come out yet. They showed him the images, which which he inspected with the rigour for which he was well known.
'Brats, we must find this stable of images', was his conclusion.


Also, can you guess?

Yes, it's Good Friday. Minus ten points for thinking it's Amkreutz night all right. Very disappointing, we shall follow your careers with great interest.


i don't know why we have to get a GetAmkreutz silkscreened fan when we could have a mechanical fan with getamkreutz on the blades whirling around like a dervish or a fan and top combined, spinning on the floor while cooling the place down cheer cheers cheers (apologies to messers G. Willan and R. Searle)

Street dreams

As they piled out into the street, it seemed they had momentarily left behind the madness in which Shades regularly find themselves caught up. But they were fooling themselves, for, turning the corner (the left I believe), they suddenly found themselves facing a billboard of a seductive temptress carrying the seemingly innocuous message 'getamkreutz!'.

The Shades scratched their heads. There had to be more to it than that. What was the lady whose only claim to fame was modeling for KingsOak real estate trying to tell them? It was only when one of the Shades, impatient to get on (he, unlike his acquaintances, had Things To Do), pushed his way past the others and the billboard, and turned to remonstrate his fellows, and the words froze in the back of his throat, that the full, sinister implications of the billboard started to reveal themselves. The Shades rushed to the immobile, muted one and found themselves staring at the back of the billboard, which carried another image from the same stable.

The Shades shuddered in alarm and dismay, words failing them at that instant, sunken as they were in gloomy revery.
It was a sunny afternoon and the time was five-and-twenty to four.

But the day-job wouldn't give them up.

The day-job, seen here terriyfingly both behind and in front of a Venetian blind, caused the shades to affect a quick retreat to the stairs, though staying in their place. Flight was the call of the day. As it, in many ways, continues to be; the birth of a tradition.

But speculations on punning modern troubadours, and the stronger (hence better) beer had given the shades wings and tails of bitter lead (Pb). Weakly they charged, one behind the other, dragging into the sawdust the worrying signs of terminus post quem and terminus ante quem, but in the wrong order.

On another note, also remember to party tonight as it is...

Amkreutz night! All right!

Convening shades

A number of Shades convened around a heavy oak table, to discuss a variety of topics such as "Is stronger beer always better beer?", "Was Robinson Crusoe a woman or just an avant-garde metrosexual?" and "How long will the new fad last of giving bands short, funky, wink-wink nudge-nudge, we are being so ironic, look at us with our raised right eyebrow names like Thunderbirds Are Now! (obviously a GetAmkreutz! rip-off), Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and The Boy least Likely To (to what, they pondered)?".

With such important musings to bandy around, who can blame them for giving up their day-job?

casting shadows

Since sustaining is not in his vocabulary, former Russian tank commander Yuri Amkreutzkovski will definitely change contemporary social order! (Every odd week also on weekends). Ye will be like tiny particles of loess, fighting to be in his shadow.